Morning Revelation

Whew. I never ever post here anymore. But this particular post doesn't fit on my other site (if you haven't checked it out---do so!)

Anyway, here's what I woke up thinking about today. Enjoy!

I try to be as honest as possible when I write, because honestly, I don’t think I’m fooling anyone when I try to make things less or more than they actually are. And if anything, I crave authenticity from others, so I do my best to offer the same in return.

That being said, today we’re going to talk about my biggest struggle.

I’m single, and I don’t like it.

There. I said it! And I wish more young women would be honest with themselves and admit to it! Young women, if this rings true for you, then say it. I’m begging you. Because it’s been my experience that when you’re feeling something and you try to hide it, or ignore it, or wish it away, it grows.

It’s o.k. to not like being single.

And I’ll tell you why.

I’m going to go all Old Testament on you for a second. When God created Adam, He explicitly said that it was not good for man to be alone. In other words, man & woman were, from the literal beginning of time, supposed to be together.

My point here isn’t to say that everyone is supposed to get married. I truly believe that there are some people in this world that are meant to live a single life. That’s wonderful. God gets to use those people in a very unique and special way.

But I’m here to say that if you desire a spouse, if you desire marriage—if you’re currently single and you have that longing, then I truly and deeply do not believe that you’ve been called to the life of celibacy.

So here’s what I’m trying to say through that jumble of words. If God designed us to be in a relationship, and God has given you a yearning for that relationship, and you’re not currently in that relationship, then it’s o.k. to feel like something is missing, and subsequently not like it.

It’s okay to not like being single. Because it isn’t what you’re intended to be.

Now let me switch focus for a second and pump the brakes. Because I know for a fact some of you are disagreeing with me.

Let me be clear that there is a difference between desiring something you don’t yet have, and sinning over something you don’t yet have.

Let me try to explain further.

Warning: this is going to be ridiculously cheesy and probably isn’t going to make total sense. But bear with me.

Let’s say that I wake up and decide that I want a cake. I’ve seen other people with cake and they seem to really enjoy it. Cake alone doesn’t sustain their lives, but it makes their lives better. And I decide, “You know what? I’m fine without cake; I can live without it. But cake seems really great and I would like some cake”.

So I go to the local bakery and I ask for a cake. And the baker says, “Cake is awesome and you’re going to get some, but just not right now. I want to make this cake perfect for you so it’s going to take some time. I can’t tell you when, but it’ll be delivered sometime.”

Okay that’s a little annoying, right? I want my cake now, obviously. But the baker knows about cakes. And if the baker wants to make a cake perfect for me, then I can’t fault him for that.

I don’t have to like it though. I’ve never read a verse in the Bible that says I have to like all the circumstances I’m in.

I mean let’s think about.

Do you think Abraham liked that hike up the mountain on his way to sacrifice his son? Do you think Esther liked being plucked from her home and thrown into a concubine? We know for a fact that Jonah didn’t like his deal. And let’s be honest for a moment. Do you really honestly think Jesus liked being nailed on a cross?

I personally don’t think so.

Sometimes God puts us into situations and we don’t like it.

And here’s a big revelation: that’s not a sin.

The sin comes when we are disobedient to what God has commanded us.

The sin is when I don’t get my cake and I pout about it. And I talk about how unfair the baker is. And I get jealous of all the other people with cake. And I just sit around and I don’t live my life because well if I don’t have any cake then I’m just going to sit here until I do because my life is worthless without it.

Any relationship other than your one with God does not complete you. It compliments you. It’s the sprinkles on top of the ice cream.

This is where the problem lies for many single Christians. Myself often included.

God has repeatedly said that in all circumstances we are to praise Him. Honor Him. Glorify Him.

I think it’s completely acceptable to have a prayer that’s full of, “I don’t understands”, as long as they’re followed with, “…but You are still God.”

Think about Christ’s prayer before His death. He begged God to take the cup from Him.

But how did He end His prayer?

“…But not my will, Yours.”

Wow.

Throughout Scripture we repeatedly see men and women who don’t like their circumstances but chose to serve a good God anyway. And every single time, God blesses them.

The point is that you don’t have to like being single. You’re allowed to say that.

I’m so tired of (albeit well-meaning) married women trying to encourage young single women to be happy in their singleness. I’m tired of this because it causes a lot of confusion. Women are told (I’ve been told) a lot of things when they’re single. They’re told to be happy, they’re told to be content in their singleness, they’re basically told that when they’re finally happy being single, God will give them a husband.

This is a lie! And this mindset sets your single friends up for failure.

Because like I said earlier, telling us to be happy while we’re single is like telling us to be happy with only three wheels on our car.

The truth is, being single isn’t ideal for a lot of women. But the even better truth is that yes, God has good things in store for you in all your situations.

If the Bible teaches us anything about circumstances, it’s that we shouldn’t focus on them.

Don’t look to God in hopes that He will be pointing to your man. Look to God because He is worth looking at.

The point is, you don’t have to like being single.

But you still have a billion and one reasons to praise God anyway.