My heart has been so touched by this little man. In ways that I don't even know if I can write.
Walter has been my boy since the beginning. He was new to our program this year and the first night he attached his sweet little self to me and he's been my bud ever since. I think he secretly knew my name this whole time, but he hasn't called me Ashlee until tonight (our final night going over until the fall). I've wrote about Walter before, which just goes to show how much this little boy has my heart.
I really know nothing about him. I don't know Walter's home life. I don't know where he lives, where he goes to school, and if he is treated right at home. I don't know if Walter comes from a broken family like me, or if his mom and dad are around. His infectious smile would suggest that Walter lives a very happy life, but really, I don't know anything about this kid.
Which makes it so confusing as to why I love him so much. But I do.
Tonight Walter sat down next to me to eat his hot dog (which was a mess, by the way. The child has no concept of a napkin) and when he was finished he looked at me and said, "Can I sit on your lap?" So as he was sitting on my lap in 90 degree weather, I began to reflect on how this is one of the last times that I'm going to see these kids. Although the optimist in me says that I'll be able to come back often from college, the realist in me says that's probably not going to be too practical. I have maybe one or two more times to make an impact on these kids, and encourage the younger leaders in continuing this project. I was thinking about Walter growing up, and the paths that he might take one day. Let's face it- Walter doesn't live in the greatest area possible. The thought of Walter growing up and making the wrong choices makes me feel nauseous. The thought of any one of these beautiful kids getting mixed up is a thought I don't gladly entertain. But sometimes, life is what it is. However, thinking about this has sparked something in me that I am ashamed is just now happening. Prayer. Actively and wholeheartedly praying for these children daily. Praying for their today, their tomorrow and their eternity. Praying for seeds to be planted, watered, grown and harvested. So I'm planning every day for the rest of until God tells me other wise, picking one child a week and praying for them vigilantly. For those of you reading, I'm asking you to do the same. I know a lot of you (hopefully a lot of people read this) probably don't know these children, but I know that you can agree that they are extremely special to God. I truly believe that God will lead those who are willing into an attitude of prayer. I've heard so many stories of people praying off-the-wall things for people because that's what they felt and it turns out that God was using those prayers. I'm hoping that will happen here. I'm going to attach a file with every child's name and a picture of them in an upcoming post.
What I'm going to do is print out the picture, memorize their name, and put up the picture somewhere I look frequently, like a mirror, or a cell phone background, locker computer screen, ect.
Write their name on your hand. See it, and say a three second prayer.
If someone asks you why you have a little black kid on your phone/mirror ect, tell them! Get them involved too. How awesome would it be if these children got a hedge of protection placed around them because you took five minutes out of your morning to talk to Jesus about these kids!

Jehovah Shammah

Yahweh is There.

Doing this study, I have been taught so much about the Father that I didn't know before. He has one name, but within His ultimate name, He has several 'nick'names if you will, that tell us who He truly is. This week, God revealed Himself as Jehovah Shammah, or The LORD is There. What a beautiful name! I've spoke before of my deep love in definitives in the Bible. I loose my mind when God leaves no room for misinterpretation and just shows who He is and what He is and what He longs to be for me. I love when God says He IS something. Because God isn't a sometimes kind of guy. He's an always. He IS there. He is not sometimes there. He is not sometimes listening. He is not sometimes my healer, He doesn't provide for me whenever He feels like it. No, God makes it clear. He IS. His name, Yahweh, or, "I AM" tells us that much. So the fact that God just told me that He IS there- in a time in my life when I'm scared to be alone- well that is something that I hold close to my heart right now.

Don't you also love how God waits to tell you something until you absolutely need it the most? Throughout this series God has revealed Himself to me at precisely the right moment with the proper and fitting name. Because He is amazing like that.

But anyway back to God's name for this week. I got to thinking about this name, and I feel like it can be interpreted three different ways (probably more but that's what I got)

First, God is There as in God is Present.

God understands. He is joining us, he is a part of us. When you speak to someone, excluding the answering machine, they must be present to hear you and respond. You cannot communicate with someone if they are not present in some form. The same stands true for God. God is Here- he is listening and responding, however, sometimes it is not the clearest response or the response we were hoping for (do you think sometimes God does respond [with actions are circumstances] however they are so opposite of what we wanted that we either refuse or deflect them as God's communication and wait on "our" answer? I DO.)

Second, God is There as in God is Involved.

Continuing on my last thought, I think it is a fair assumption that if God is Present, He is also Involved. Although sometimes God doesn't always intervene, He is still involved. He desires to hear us. To know us. And even though He knows everything, He still just wants to hear our voices and He wants us to come to Him. He wants to be active and involved in His children's lives. That's why He's there all the time. He is waiting on us to utilize the gift of undivided attention.

Third, God is There as in God is Dwelling.

This is probably my favorite, but also the most concerning and frightening. The Bible teaches in Romans 8:9 that the Holy Spirit dwells in believers of Christ. God lives in me. His home is in my soul. This, my friends, is a win. A famous song says, "How many kings step down from their thrones?" How many Kings in history have stepped down to be one with their people? And when you think about what a king is like, how to do you picture them? In the fields with the commoners, or on an elevated throne, separated from those more lowly.

God didn't just step down from His throne to dwell with us- no, He stepped off His throne to become one of us.

Oh my gosh, my life

...is basically over because yesterday evening we welcomed into the world the newest baby to have me wrapped around their finger: baby Blake.
This is my brother's newest son, and boy am I in love. So stinkin' cute.
I went to the hospital and Psalm 139 just kept repeating in my mind. If you've never read it, haven't read it in a while, or you just read it- you should go read it again (or for the first time) right now because it is my favorite chapter in the Bible and it is beautiful. And it rang new to me as I am expecting one day it will again when I'm becoming a mother myself- God knit together this beautiful little baby while he was in my brother's wife's womb. Blake's frame wasn't hidden from God in the secret place. God saw Blake before He was formed.  And every word that Blake will ever say, God knows. Even now before a single one of them have came to be. My prayer for baby Blake is that his words are those that bring honor and glory to Christ's name. My prayer for Blake is that all the days of his life, he will know the peace and comfort that comes from calling Jesus your best friend.

Happy Friday!

Ahhhhh. For the first time in what seems like ever, I am having a good Friday! I mean, we have our Bible study every Friday night and that always brings joy to my heart, but today, from start to, well it's not finished yet, so to now, I have been having a good day.
I woke up in my normal anti morning funk, which is usual. But when I left for school I saw one of the most beautiful skies I have ever seen. It wasn't really a sunrise, more than just a beautiful picture God wanted to bless me with today:

I just stood in wonder of God's majesty when I saw this. I was so grateful for who God was and is and will be because I serve a God that is constantly trying to connect with me in real and deep ways. Sometimes I don't think that I am in the sate of mind to hear God speak to me like I desperately want him to. Then there are times like this, in this moment in my life when I can see something some would chalk to science and know without a doubt that this is the Master, painting for me a beautiful skyline, reminding me that beauty is real and love is present.

I feel so blessed in this moment, and I'm sure anyone else who saw the beautiful sky this morning felt it was painted for them. And I believe it was. 

I love when God speaks to His people. And I love that He doesn't use boring words. He shows us.

I am so thankful that He shows us!

Sometimes, all I have left is knowing that in Christ, love never fails. I know I took this picture with two rings representative of marriage, but it goes so far beyond that. Marriage is representative with how Christ loves the church. And Christ's love never fails.

I LOVE THAT.