Jehovah Jireh

the LORD will Provide.

The question on my heart is if I truly believe that. Do I really believe that God is going to provide for me? Jehovah Jireh originated when God told Abraham to go to Moriah and sacrifice Isaac, his son-his only son-as a burnt offering to the Lord. If we review Abraham's life, we can understand why he immediately obeyed God (because, after all, God repeatedly demonstrated how He's not messing around). But still, a part of me wonders what Abraham must have been thinking. The book of Hebrews gives us some insight: Hebrews brings up the idea that Abraham knew that God's promises were true, valid, honest and sacred. One of God's promises to Abraham just happened to be that through Isaac, Abraham would be the father of many nations.

So instead of saying, "hey God, what's this about? A few chapters ago You said that Isaac was going to bring me many nations- well how is that going to happen if he's dead?", Abraham had the mindset of, "God promised that Isaac would bring me descendants. Well that hasn't happened yet so obviously God is going to do something mighty." At this point in the Bible, the idea of resurrection had never arose- for lack of a better term. It had never happened. But Abraham believed it could happen. He believed God could do things He had never done before.

Despite how Abraham tried to assist God in the past (like that Hagar mess), I venerate Abraham's faith that God was going to do something awesome: Abraham's faith was blind.

He took Isaac, bound him, and laid him on the altar. As he's about to 'sacrifice' his son, God speaks to Abraham and tells him to stop. Abraham sees a ram caught in the bushes and recognizes God's provision.

And the question that is on my heart is this: can I trust God with my Isaac? Can I trust Him with what I hold closest to my heart right now? 

It wasn't difficult or time consuming to acknowledge what my Isaac is. If I could sum it up with as little detail and complication as possible, I would describe my Isaac as my desires for my future.

For the past eight or so months, I have felt certain desires that feel like they are straight from God's lips. Things that have been bathed in prayer, feelings that have not changed. Feelings that have instead grown and become more deeply rooted in my soul.

This is my Isaac.

Do I trust God with what I believe are His future plans for my life?

Beyond that, will I still praise Him if this turns out not to be what He has for me?

Lately, my heart's deepest prayer has centered around a six letter sentence. If this is what it takes. 

If it takes 200 people slandering me to get those 200 people to hear about You, Lord if this is what it takes, then I pray that I take up my cross daily to follow you.

If You need to be silent now, and if You need to let me hold on to these desires a little longer, regardless of Your plan for my life or how it might break me later, God if this is what it takes for Your plan to take it's shape then I pray that You would break my heart daily in order to follow Your will for my life.

I don't know what God has in store for me in the future- not even for tomorrow. But I know that He is a beautiful God who can only produce beautiful things.

So I am laying my Isaac at the altar and I am expecting beauty. If God allows me to keep my Isaac, then praise be to the King of Kings. But if God removes this Isaac from my life, then praise will still be to the King of Kings.

And that is the absolute end of discussion.