I can't get enough of the song How He Loves by John Mark McMillan. Like, seriously cannot quit listening to it. This wouldn't be quite as alarming had I just heard this song, but I've known this song for ever. And I can't explain why all of the sudden I can't quit listening to it. It might have something to do with the fact that I more than enjoy singing it and I think that I don't sound too bad. But I think it goes way way deeper than that. I think I'm drawn to it because of it's honesty and humility. And JMM through this song has taught me that God's union with us- our love story -it's not neat. It's messy. It's embarrassing at times. Sometimes it doesn't seem worthwhile. But it's also beautiful. It's so beautiful. And precious. It is endearing, more so, enduring. Oh how He loves us. That's all we can say. Those five words are all we can manage sometimes because it's all the words that we can come up with. Just an exclamation that He loves us. At the beginning of the song JMM says, "He loves like a hurricane- I am a tree, bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy." This reminds me of my conversation with God a few days ago. I love the idea of God being a hurricane. And I love the idea of His love being so strong that it bends us. It doesn't break us, it doesn't uproot us, but it impacts us. And we can't help but move.
He wants to shower me with love. And too often am I worried about my iniquity. I forget that He forgot. God's love is too powerful and too deep to keep a record of my wrongs (1 Cor 13). He doesn't want to hold a tally sheet against me. Because why would I want to be with Him if every time I was He reminded me of that one time...that other time when I....that day that I....
That isn't my God.
He just wants it to be Him and I. He doesn't want to share me with sin. He doesn't want me to be polluted. Which is why I make the decision to ask Him not to see me like that and He makes the decision to honor that prayer by forgetting it ever happened. And when that glorious thing happens, I become so blinded by his unyielding love that I can't remember my sins either. And that is brilliant. At this point in the post, I would be lying if I said that I have forgotten all of my sins. Of course not. And satan makes sure that I remember my sins loud and clear whenever I begin to see God's love fall on me. But- and here's the best part- I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way that He loves us.
I don't have time for you, satan. I don't have time for your games and your schemes. I don't have time to let you read all of my errors to me, because all of my time needs to be devoted on Christ if I'm to soak up all that I can of His brilliant love.
I am God's portion. And He is my prize. And He draws me in. His grace is so deep that I'm sinking. I'm being immersed again and again and again.
And the water- it heals my wounds. My iniquity sinks to the bottom of the ocean, and it stays there. In the presence of Christ, it's not going to resurface.
How beautiful is that?
Very :)
ReplyDeleteI used to think that the song was blasphemous, no joke! I didn't understand how God's love could be so violent. I researched the song because I didn't understand a lot of the lyrics, and I came across the very video you did. And it changed my perspective. And I was right where you are, listening to it over and over again. I can't get enough, just like God couldn't get enough of me.
Oh, how He loves :)