And without going into immense detail, He shared a truth with me yesterday that had legitimately never entered my mind. Often I find myself finally realizing a truth I've heard a million times before but never understanding, so this was quite a difference for me.
It all started with me being a girl. I'm at Asbury, and I didn't know it when I decided to come here but basically you do two things when you come here. You go on a mission trip, and you get married. Not necessarily in that order. When you are a single woman at Asbury University, you better expect to hear about dating/courting/engagements and marriage daily. Sometimes hourly.
So I've been acting like a typical girl and thinking about courtship and marriage, and thinking about how I want that to look. I catch myself thinking, I want him to ask me about my day or I just wish he would give me a compliment or I just want him to pursue me and want to know everything about me.
I was listening to music when I ended up on Fernando Ortega's "Psalm 63", and I decided that was my verse for the week.
And I realized something interesting. David writes,
O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you;
my flesh faints for you,
as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.
God- You are my God. And I seek you earnestly.
I desire to be sought after earnestly. I desire to be someones. The thing is, so does God.
Although my intentions are more romantic than Gods, they are still fundamentally the same. All the things I desire from my future husband are things God desires as well.
God wants me to talk to him. He wants to me to pursue Him. And I want Him to pursue me.
This revelation came after I had already decided that I am incapable of taking care of my own heart, so I've decided to give it completely over to God with the faith and knowledge that He finds it sacred, and will not give it to the wrong man.
So I've taken a vow if you will, to treat God how I expect to be treated by the man God gives my heart to, expecting that I will be treated the same. When I catch myself thinking about what I am hoping for or expecting, I realize more and more that those desires stem straight from the Father, and He is eager for me.
I urge you young women, to do the same. Knowing God's intentions will help you to discern men's. It has become quite a cliche, however I will always love the quote that says, "A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek Him first to find her."
How much easier will it be to see the man God has ordained for you if you are looking at the one who ordained it?
Therefore, I will earnestly seek God, as I am to be earnestly sought. The rest will work itself out.
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