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| I can't wait to be with the people of Haiti |
And I am more than eager. It's almost borderline excessive, how excited I am. And there are a few reasons why I am so excited. To aptly tell this story, however, I need to back up and start at the beginning. The waaay beginning.
First let me say that I am such a hipster. I attended a youth conference where David Platt was the speaker. This was pre-Radical, and no one really knew who he was. I remember he wore a shirt that said, "mini van, mega fun" and I was like, this dude is legit. That is not the point at all, but I would just like to state it for the records, if anyone is keeping them.
The conference was a week long, and somewhere around day two he told a story of a missionary that was skinned alive for sharing the gospel. He commented on the man's dedication to the Gospel. This man willingly was skinned alive because He understood that this was God's call. God was going be glorified, and that was more than enough reason to die for the sake of the Gospel.
I was moved. I remember as a freshman in highschool thinking, God, please please please never call me to be a missionary. Please.
The next night I was certain that I was supposed to be a missionary.
You heard me.
Jesus rocked my world that night.
I mostly kept this to myself throughout high school. I felt so hideously unqualified. And also vastly terrified of what that was going to mean for my life. But I always had that nagging on my Spirit, whispering the promise of missions. I knew deep down that if I were to totally follow the Lord, I wasn't going to stay in the United States.
Jump forward almost four years later, and I am a journalism major, emphasis in photojournalism, with a minor in missions and special education. I'll spend another blog about how all that happened some other time.
The point being, I am so beyond eager to get my feet wet (so to speak) in missions. Honestly, if a reputable person approached me tomorrow and asked if I would go to India on a mission trip, I would tell them my bag was already packed-- at least in my mind.
So when the opportunity arose for me to possibly go to Haiti over Spring Break, I was all over that.
Until I got to the meeting and found out we're going to be building houses.
Now, there is absolutely nothing wrong with this. In fact, it's awesome. But I was looking for something more with kids.
Which is exactly what I told God as the leader of the team was speaking.
Shut up for a second, God replied.
Okay, fine.
The leader's next words were,
"We'll spend the say building the houses, but the highlight of the whole day is when we get back to the place we're staying and the kids are waiting to play with you"
Okay, God. I'm listening.
This trip began to sound better and better. At this point I'm getting really in to everything Nathan, the team leader, was saying. Then God spoke again.
1700.
That's it. That's all I heard. And I was like, God, what is this? What am I supposed to do with 1700?
I'm talking, but not really hearing anything back. And then I know. I know like I've only known one other time.
Okay, God. If this trip costs $1700 or less, I will go to Haiti. No questions asked. No if ands or buts. I'll go.
Nathan all the sudden goes, "Okay, now we're going to talk about cost." I knew it was coming.
He continued, "Last year, it was about $2900 to go, but this year we've gotten better deals on airfare and lodging, so it's not going to be as expensive"
JUST SAY IT. I'm thinking. I know you're going to.
"So this trip is going to be $1700."
My stomach dropped. Not in a bad way, but just in a, "I just had an actual conversation with the Holy Spirit and that's what's up" way.
I started crying, but apparently no one noticed and I was thankful for that.
Then God replayed the words I had just spoken. I will go, no questions asked.
Touche God. Touche.
I have questioned nothing about this trip. I am not worrying about how I will pay, or what else I could do with my break. I am not worrying about how God will use me. I am going to Haiti, and God is going to do something amazing.
It didn't really hit me until a few days ago that God is sending me to a different country to proclaim His name and bring glory to His Kingdom-to be a light. To be His voice. To be His hands and feet. To be His smile. To be His ambassador.
Me. Also known as a sinner.
Me. A wretch.
Me. An unqualified, selfish, mess of a sinner.
YAHWEH chose me. He is using me.
I began to weep. I hate that word, but it's the only word that fits, and even then, it doesn't seem to be enough. I began to understood God in a new way. I mean, what kind of King sends a peasant to do His bidding? A great one.
An indescribable one.
A faithful one.
I encourage you to find where God is calling you, and understand the severity of the call. God is calling you to speak on His behalf. God is wanting to use you, wherever that might be. Do not ignore Him, or be discouraged if it is in your hometown. "Missions" does not have to be across the globe, or even out of your neighborhood. God's sovereignty is unparalleled.
Call to Him. I will go. No questions asked. No if ands or buts. I will go.
He is faithful.
Please also join with me in praying for the beloved people of Haiti. Yes, pray for reconciliation of their land, but their problems stem from Spiritual instability first and foremost, being predominantly practicers of Voodoo for the past 200 years. Pray that God will soften Haitian hearts to the Gospel, and our team will fearlessly and boldly share the love of God with them. Pray for His Kingdom to come to Haiti. Pray that God will be glorified by the people of Haiti. That God will reign in the hearts and lives of the Haitian people.
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